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My 30–40–30 Rule
I recently had coffee with a friend who was in the news a few years back accused of wrongdoing. During coffee, he shared his desire to clear his name and to make those who accused him pay by spilling the beans on them.
Before acting on his desire, I suggested that he consider the 30–40–30 rule — which essentially states that 30% “hate” him and will never believe whatever he says; 30% “love” him and already believe in his innocence; and 40% are ambivalent towards him and the matter. I added that considering that considerable time has passed, the 40% would have forgotten about the matter and, since he has moved on to bigger and better things, relitigating this will in my opinion have no real value apart from satisfying his ego.
A harsh reality of life is that it is impossible to make everyone like you. Even someone like Mother Teresa who did so much good had her critics. Being in a leadership position, or in the limelight, will invariably open one up to having detractors. It is therefore important to keep our ego in check and to only fight the battles that matter. If we let our ego guide our decisions, it will more often than not, not end well for us.
